What's In A Word? What's In A Look?

Today is Spread the Word to End the Word Day - where people are encouraged to pledge to NOT use the word Retard. When they were originally introduced, the terms “mental retardation” or “mentally retarded” were medical terms with a specifically clinical connotation; however, the pejorative forms, “retard” and “retarded” have been used widely in today’s society to degrade and insult people with intellectual disabilities. Additionally, when “retard” and “retarded” are used as synonyms for “dumb” or “stupid” by people without disabilities, it only reinforces painful stereotypes of people with intellectual disabilities being less valued members of humanity.

Of course, this word is especially hurtful when we hear our friends and family use this word. So, it's important to us to educate and help explain WHY this word hurts us so. 

We all know that the saying "Sticks and stones might break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is the farthest thing from the truth, right? 

But what about body language? 

A few weeks ago, DSIA had our first Self Advocate (person with Down syndrome) join our board of directors and she attended her first meeting. I loved spending time with her. She was funny, smart and full of spunk.

Unfortunately, there was a mis-communication about who was giving her a ride home/picking her up after the meeting. So, I waited with her outside. Our board meetings are downtown, on Capitol Mall. We waited on the corner outside a really nice restaurant. It was the day before Valentine's and there were a lot of people coming and going into the restaurant. We stood there talking, looking for her ride, checking our cell phones....looking perfectly "normal."

Except not.

And the looks from others proved it to me.

Disgust

Horror

Disgrace

Bothered

All words I would use to describe how people felt when they saw us. All because one of us looked different. I would love to think it was because of my way too casual look of sweatpants, but, I am heartbroken to know it was because she had Down syndrome. Because she was different. 

So much work done, so much much much more to do.

And I will not stop. My hope is Gabby will never know those looks.

And if she does, my hope is she won't care. She knows better.