Sunday, October 16, 2011

Mail For Mommy

    Over the past year there has been a difference in the way the boys act and respond when it comes to anything dealing with their mom. Because they were all so young when she passed away, Dylan was four Trevor was two and Cody was fifteen months, it's expected that they would see it different as they started to age and gain knowledge of the circle of life. In the beginning the boys were unable to understand the word heaven. Instead I explained to them that mommy was in outer space, that she was not ever going to come back but that she could look down and see us all the time. The boys understood this concept in their own way and it was even comforting to them. After a short time of using that explanation, and with the help of my therapist Angela, we moved into explaining heaven was in outer space and that mommy was actually in heaven. It took a little time for the transition to take place. It started with the boys saying, "my mommy is in outer space, in heaven." To what we hear now from the boys, "my mommy is in heaven." It's over two and a half years since she passed away and the term of "heaven" has been the one used for about six months now. With every stage of the boy's lives we relive the death of Jen through the questions they ask. I would imagine that sounds heart wrenching, and at times it can be. When the boys first started to using the word heaven I thought, "oh they get it, we're good to go." But I was quickly reminded from Angela that with children, each new transition brings on more knowledge and understanding that will cause a reordering of the way they think. That some of the things they once believed in will no longer be true and therefore they will have to resort and relive the information to figure out where and how it's stored for them. In essence they will relive the process of understanding the passing of their mother several times through out their childhood and even into adulthood. She added a nice little jab in when she reminded me that each child will do it differently and at different times so we should expect this with all three boys in some way or another for then next ten to twenty years. No doubt I'm a realist and I appreciate the "no beating around the bush" form of communication, but trust me this one could have been sugar coated for me. 
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    Angela has been right about the boys transitioning through the loss of Jen. Every leap in understanding bringing new questions and new ways for them to understand and find comfort in the loss of their mom. For Dylan, he has taken on and mimicked his response after Jen's family. Jen's parents and her brothers have a difficult time talking about her. When I speak of her or when Missy asks questions about her in their presence the room goes eerily quiet and a level of uncomfortableness takes over. In some cases Jen's mom, Shila will say a thing or two about Jen when we bring her up. It has taken Shila a long time to get to this point. In the past she would cry at the sound of Jen's name being said. Jen's dad Dave is able to talk about her in a one-on-one setting. Dave normally is very straight forward about the loss of Jen, he's still angry and pissed off. I think he has earned that right, even though I wish for him and Shila to be at a more peaceful place with it. Jen's brother David will speak of her to the boys but in a limited fashion, and he will rarely speak of her outside the boys presence. Her brother Jason expressed his difficulty talking about her to me. You still can hear the pain in his voice when he mention Jen or the boys, yet he seems to try hard to do it. Dylan has the same tendencies as all of this. He will smile when he hears her name, but he will not actively engage in the conversation. When we ask him specific questions about her, he shies away from them and gives quick short answers. He has said before, "I don't like talking about mommy cause everyone cries when we do." A true statement when I look at the history of it. No doubt most people shy away from the topic of death. It's one that is uncomfortable for most people. Perhaps Dylan is the "Stats-Quo" when it comes to talking about Jen.
    Trevor is a bit different with all of it. If you were to put a label on Trevor it would be somewhere in the realm of lover, possibly a person who can channel spirits, intuitive with a bit of tension. Ever since Trevor was young he had a level of energy his body would give off that the other two have yet to tap into. Trevor is able to know what he needs and he tries to get it. In some cases he has a block, either mental or physical which keeps him from obtaining whatever it is he needs, resulting in crying or frustration. After Jen passed Trevor went internally for a long while. He became more quiet, he became more to himself, he was often emotional and easily frazzled. When my sister, also named Jen, would see Trevor she would hold him for twenty to thirty minutes each time. At playgroup I would ask the other mothers to pick him up and to hold him whenever they got the chance. Trevor was missing a mothers touch the moment Jen went into the hospital, so anytime he could get some loving from a mother we pushed for it. I remember lying on the couch on my days off with Trevor wrapped in my arms for hours. He would just lay there, uninterested in playing or doing anything. Several months after Jen passed I asked him if he had seen mommy lately, I would remind the boys to dream of her and to talk to her cause she was always with us, he said, "yes." I asked a few more questions and he said, "she comes to see me." I have no doubt that he does see her, that he communicates with her in some form. Before Missy and the girls moved in with us, we had a few sleep overs here at the house. Mostly because I had found someone, that being Missy, that I wanted to spend as much of my time with but also to see how the kids would respond. On one particular morning when I was getting ready for work, Missy was planning on leaving to go do some work and my dad Obie had shown up to watch the boys, Trevor showed signs of struggling emotionally. I tried to comfort him and to talk with him but he was not at all responding to me. My dad tried to do the same and again he showed no interest. Missy had him climb up on the couch with her and he melted into her body. As the story goes, I left for work and Missy stayed the morning snuggled up on the couch with Trevor for over an hour. Dad took care of the kids and got the morning rolling, but Trevor just stayed with Missy. That's kind of how it's been for Trevor ever since. He will listen to stories about Jen, he will smile when we talk about her, he will tell us some of the conversations he has with her and at times he will cry hard for her while saying, "I miss mommy." With all of these he will gravitate towards Missy for comfort and security. 
    Cody deals with the loss of Jen completely different as well. Since he was only fifteen months old when she passed, he has no true memories of his own about her that he is able to recall. We tell him stories about mommy to help him create memories of her. Stories about him and her, his brothers and her, all of us and her and of course just her. Out of the three boys he still does not have a full understanding of what it means for Jen to be in heaven. He used to say she was in space and now it's, "my mommy in heaven!" I can't do it justice by writing it. His cute little voice with his high level of complete ownership of the statement is magical. Even the way it sounds, "My mommy en hea-B-en" is so damn cute. Early on in my relationship with Missy, Cody would say "my mommy" for things that related to Jen. Sometimes Evey would follow that statement with, "my mommy" resulting in an argument where cody would say loudly and rudely, "NO MY MOMMY". His ownership of his mother is unmatched by any of the others and he has no reservations expressing it. It's completely welcoming, yet the rudeness about it is a constant area of work for us with him. 
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    A few nights ago I was working in the garage on a project. Because of our, Missy and mine, level of being anal and wanting everything in order we came up with an idea to keep Lego's sorted, out of the way and easily accessible. So I have been building and constructing this thing in the garage for about a week now. On this particular night, after asking Missy if she was alright with me trying to finish it up while she gave bath's to the kids, Cody came out to check on me. He had just finished his bath and asked me to smell his hair. I love smelling their clean fresh head after a bath and they all run to me to complete the ritual after almost every time. After smelling his hair he asked me, "when is my mommy going to come back from heaven and visit me at my house?" There had not been any talk about Jen prior to this question so I wasn't sure what prompted it. I sat down on a step ladder in the garage with Cody on my lap and we started talking about his mommy. Missy walked out and headed towards us. She stopped half way after hearing the topic and asked if she should come back. I told her no and she sat down to join us. After talking about Jen and letting Cody ask some questions, Missy asked Cody if he wanted to write mommy a letter. Cody lit up and shouted, YEA!" They went inside and Cody wrote a letter for Jen. I don't know what was written or what shapes were made on the paper. He seal it up and came out to show me. Missy had written "Mommy Scott" on the outside of the envelope. In one corner she had written Cody's name and in the other corner there was a flag stamp. He had the biggest smile on his face while he was showing me the letter. He asked if he could mail it and we told him in a few days. It was Sunday and the next day was a federal holiday. For the next four days Cody carried around his letter. He showed it to family members that came to the house and he explained what was inside of it. He had a huge level of excitement when showing and talking about his letter. On Thursday Cody decided it was time to mail it. We had gotten home from picking up Trevor at school and had just come inside to make lunch. Cody walked over and grabbed his letter. He came up to me and said, "daddy when can I mail my mommy's mail?" We headed outside right then. As we walked across the street to the mailbox he held my hand. What was once just a silver box that brought bills had just taken on a new identity. It represented a conduit for Cody. A connection to a life lost from a little boy who wanted nothing more than to see his mommy one more time. As we walked towards the mailbox my heart sped up a little in anticipation of once the mail is no longer in Cody's hands. I slid my hands under his arms, squeezed his body and lifted him up. He put the letter inside the mail slot and shoved it in. I turned him around to be face to face and his smile and gentle look was breath taking. I hugged his sweet little body as he melted into me. I stood on the sidewalk and cried while he wrapped his little arms around my neck and squeezed. I whispered in his ear, "I am so proud of you sweetheart, mommy loves you so much." I held him as we walked back across the street and into the house. I snuck a return label on the back of the letter so that we would get it back. We will put it in Cody's keep sake box for when he is old enough to understand the whole thing. It was one I just couldn't let go. Later when Missy got home Cody ran to her to tell her all about it. She held him in her lap on the couch while he explained how he put the letter in the mailbox, all the while having a huge smile on his face. She hugged him and with tears in her eyes she told him his mommy was the luckiest mommy ever. It was a perfect moment. 
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    I am so proud of the boys and I am in awe of Missy. She understands the importance of Jen in our lives. I'm sure she feels like she's second to Jen in some cases, but she need not feel that way. It's hard to explain and just as hard to understand. Missy and Jen are two important women in our lives that don't need to be compared, although we all do it. They both are loved, respected, cherished and needed in our lives. I love you Missy, thank you for being who you are to all of us!!!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

The Wall of Shame


    Some people use the top of the refrigerator, others use the garage and for a select group the closet. Now I'm not talking sexually here, although all viable spaces in most books. I'm talking about the spot where we as parents, or care-givers of a child, put toys that are on "time out". In most cases I have heard the time out will last anywhere from 5 minutes to a week or more. In our house I have been using the outside of a cupboard in the kitchen. It's located above the stove in the middle of the kitchen area with ample light to highlight exactly what it is. I use clear scotch tape to secure the item in lock down, so as not to hide the contents. Now so far it has worked out to my advantage that most of the items that are placed here are of a very small nature. I would think a scooter or bike might pose a big problem should I have the desire to place an item such as that on "the wall of shame", but don't get me wrong I would do it. I just think the amount of tape and the lost functionality of the space in the kitchen might out weight the true reason for the discipline. Plus the anger along with the profanities that would be shouted at midnight after I hit my head on it, while heisting a brownie or cookie from the kitchen, just wont be worth it. 
    My sister used to put items on top of their refrigerator when my niece or nephew would lose the privilege to play with them. I remember being there one night for dinner with several different items on top of the refrigerator. The next time we went to their house the top of the refrigerator was clear, but the stack in the garage was getting close to the size of a smart car. She said they needed more space so they moved the "time out" location to the garage. She giggled, as us parents often do, when she said the look on the kids faces each time they walk by the pile is priceless. Although I have not yet moved to the refrigerator, the garage or even the trash can as a place to display toys or items that are removed from the rotation of play due to a negative response, I'm sure I will try it all at least once. 
    The latest toy to fall victim to my wall of shame was all thanks to Evey. In a round about way I could say it's actually because of the love of Lego's from the boys. The boys are currently enthralled with Toy Story and therefore our house has several Toy Story themed Lego's thrown about it. Funny enough the boys interests have now become Evey's. I'm not sure if it is simply a true interest in the items or actually an interest in having a defiant voice when taking the items from the boys and running away with them that we are dealing with at this point. However, she has found an unbreakable bond to Jessie the fair skinned, red haired, cowgirl with an assertive attitude. If you ask Cody he will say Jessie is Trevor's, considering it came from a set Trevor had received as a gift. If you ask Trevor he will say it's everyone because we continually try to instill that all the toys we have are to be shared with everyone, and Trevor does like to kiss ass a bit. If you ask Evey she will say, "MY JESSIE". We constantly try to remind all the kids that the item is not theirs, but that it is all of ours. Evey is no doubt the hardest one to get this message to resonate with. Cody is a close second.
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     The frustration that I have is that Evey continually disregards the "no Lego's in the car" policy that is always in effect. She smuggles it in her closed fist, in her cute little brown purse, her pink sweatshirt pocket and even her sock. I feel like she's training herself for the possibility of being a "mule" or drug runner later in life. She's good too. She always smiles and plays the "oh, sorry daddy" card in hopes of getting out of trouble. I always tell her I'm immune to her ways. Missy says a lesser man would crack, not sure if that's a back handed compliment. In any account I'm not playing those games.
     Now on this most recent smuggle run she made it to the land of the free. She brought Jessie in the car,via her pink sweatshirt, to get her hair cut. I did notice her hands fumbling around inside the front pocket while playing after her hair was cut while we waited for the other kids to get their cuts completed. Truth be told I didn't clue in to what she was doing at that moment. It took me some time still before her heist came to light. After getting home I unloaded the kids and sent them inside the house. For Evey, we had removed her sweater before getting in the car and buckling her in her car seat. So after sending everyone inside I found myself holding her sweatshirt. I walked across the street to check the mail and while fumbling for the key to open our mail box I suddenly heard a kind of hollow sound of something hitting the ground. When I looked down to see what it was I saw a familiar item. It was the body of a Lego person that had an identical look as the Jessie that Evey carries around. A positive identification came immediately when I noticed the head of the Lego missing. A tell-tell sign that Evey has been involved. Like any normal little girl does, she constantly removes the heads of any Lego person she comes in contact with. After seeing the body, I checked the pocket for the remains of Jessie and sure enough her head was floating around in that pink pocket. After getting the mail and putting the poor Lego back together I hunted the house for Evey. I found her in her room still taking off her shoes and I proceeded to express my frustrations to her about the current scenario. That's code for yelling at her and asking her to please stop taking the heads of the Lego's off of the bodies that they belong to. After upsetting her to the point of tears I ushered her out to the kitchen. I told her to stand in the middle of the area while I got the scotch tape. I explained to Evey that Jessie was going to be spending the next few days on "The wall of shame" for the smuggling that occurred while going to the hair cut place. In true caring fashion I made Evey watch while I secured Jessie to the cupboard. After that I put the tape away and picked up Evey. I'm the kind of guy, also known as an A-hole, where I walk over to Jessie with Eve in my arms and show her exactly what is going on. The look on Evey's face while I put her a foot away from Jessie taped to the cupboard tells me she gets it and there's no reason to continue to drive the point home. Plus the comments that will be expressed to Evey by her brothers and sisters will be reminder enough for her. I especially like it when Cody says something like, "Evey, Jessie up there. You can't play with her. It not my toy". As if he wants to point out and rub it in that the item currently up for display was not one of his, therefore it is not he who is suffering this time. Jessie is still up on the cupboard and all the kids have had a chance to ask Evey and I what happened to result in such a thing. Today is Saturday and Jessie will be released from "the wall of shame", thus removing the scarlet letter that has been Evey's since Tuesday. Missy will be please to get a clean look in the kitchen back, the kids will be happy to have the Lego's complete, Evey will be excited to be out of the spot light and I will be anticipating my next victim to be taped to "the wall of shame".

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Sunday, October 9, 2011

Back To School Jitters


Back to School Jitters

August 22, 2011
Every year I have anxiety about Back to School. I enjoy everything about summer… the sunshine, the heat, swimming, parks, exploring and being on our own schedule. Back to school means early mornings, the craziness of schedules and mostly, missing my children. I always get that knot in my stomach, the same one I had as a kid every Sunday night.
Thankfully, all the kids look forward to back to school. They all love it and it’s really great to watch them be excited about it!
This year was no different. Dylan and Trevor stated about two weeks before Gabby, Lucy and Cody. It was nice to ease into the craziness. 

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On Monday I took Gabby and Lucy to school. We walked onto campus and everyone from students to teachers were happy to see the girls. It was a great feeling as the teachers high fived Gabby. You can tell people were genuinely happy to see her. We walked down to “Walk Club” where all the students walk together around the blacktop until the bell rings. I watched Gabby and Lucy hold hands and join some friends. When the bell rang they walked up the hill to their classrooms. Gabby walked Lucy to hers, and then continued onto her own.
There was a little confusion of where to hang pack backs (outside the classroom) and I stood back and watched her figure it out. She went to hang her backpack up and some young boy from her classroom was watching her. He jumped up out of his seat and showed her that her backpack actually went on the other side.
He looked so old to me. His buzz cut, glasses and grown up clothes made him look more like a young adult than a forth grader. Gabby walked into her classroom and found her seat. I glanced at her and all the other students. Gabby’s smile lit up the room. They all looked old. It’s so hard to believe she’ll be 10 years old in two short months.
I’ll admit, I walked away sobbing…. For so many reasons. Seeing her in that classroom – among 30 other kids, its was so obvious just how different she is. Sometimes I don’t even think about it. Gabby is Gabby. I love every last little thing about her.  And sometimes I worry so much about her…. Will she be ok, make friends, be teased? Will someone be mean to her? What if she needs something and can’t communicate it?
One of the many things she has taught me is to appreciate the differences in all my kids -  to love them for all their uniqueness. You would think with six children, there would be some similarities, but their really isn’t. All my kids are uniquely different and great in their own ways.
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That afternoon I had lunch with some special ladies and our conversation revolved around Down syndrome. I was so emotional as I thought over the past ten years, and how much Gabby has changed me. There are no words to describe what she has taught me about life. She is life, in the truest sense of the word.  
I love that Gabby is different. I love that she sees nothing but good in people, nothing but good in life. I think the world would be a better place if there were more people like her. I know I am a better person for knowing her.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Our Summer Trip



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    We started our summer off with a quick three day trip that included sights that are unmatched in the world of nature. First up was Yosemite. Having lived in the Sacramento area for a big portion of my youth I was fortunate enough to have visited and experienced Yosemite a few times already. For the rest of our gang, this was the first time. 
    Missy and I had been trying to figure out local adventures that the whole family could enjoy. Since she shares custody of Gabby and Lucy with her ex we had to figure out a time when we had the big girls before making any plans. We normally get the girls three or five days a week depending on the work schedule of her ex. Rarely are those days consecutive. After getting the months schedule we, or should I say I, decided to make plans for our trip. I chose Yosemite as our first destination, then Mono lake, Bodie Ghost Town, Columbia State Park and Calaveras Big Tree's as our destinations. It took me only minutes to realize that planing a trip to Yosemite just two weeks in advance most likely meant paying top dollar for a room or that we would be staying a ways away from the park. None the less we made it happen anyways. 
    After finalizing our plans and booking hotels I decided to put together a quick power point to show the kids our planed trip. Missy sat back and giggled while I went around the house taking pictures of odd things like a clock with the time 5:00am on it, and Evey's stuffed animal "Monk" (monkey) with her blanket. I have learned that the more information I give the kids when it comes to trips or events, the better. And why not make it fun with items of familiarity and comfort to get the kids relaxed and understanding. No doubt I take it a little far, but that's part of the fun. I even placed 7 chairs around the computer so that everyone could watch it together. I had no idea that the words "Ghost Town" would create such a stir amongst the kids. The quick power point turned into a twenty minute discussion about ghosts and the uneasiness from the children about them. Gabby, the oldest at nine, continued to say "I don't like ghost" for the remainder of the presentation. The presentation made an impact however, because the kids couldn't stop talking about our upcoming trip. They told family members and friends, and they asked questions and watched the presentation several more times. It was a helpful way to show them what we had planned and to get them excited and involved.
    After mapping out our trip I came up with all the driving details. Now since I'm a bit anal and I have some extra time on my hands, I decided to make a travel book for each of the kids to take along on our trip. This was not the first time we had done this. I start it off with the details of how long the trip will take, how many miles it will be, where we are headed and where we are going to stay. With the internet I was able to pull pictures of our hotels as well as pictures of our destinations. I wanted them to know we were going to go see rocks, lakes, trees, waterfalls, abandoned buildings and rusty cars. I'm a bit of a realist so I wanted to make sure they were prepared for the realities of our trip. The book included coloring pages specific to our destinations, a few word search, some details and the history of the locations we were going to visit, a list of things to search for and find on our trip as well as how long we will be in the car driving converted into how many half hour T.V. shows it equates. Truth be told we don't watch much T.V. so the use of one show in the realm of time was well understood. 
    Missy and I packed the car the night before, we had each kid get their bag (an 8 inch by 12 inch fabric sack) and we told them to pack it with whatever they wanted to bring. The rule is, after the travel book and a box of crayons are put in the bags each kid can bring anything that fits inside the bag. Nothing else is allowed in the car except necessities. It's amazing how much stuff can be crammed into those bags. The day and night before the trip if always full with cleaning as well. I, as well as Missy (man I love you) have always cleaned the house before going on a trip. That way when we return home the house is in perfect order and all we have to do it unpack, do laundry and put it all away. I know another ridiculous aspect to my already out of control anal-ness. 
    Trip day starts off with getting everyone in the car and hitting the road. We pull out of our neighborhood at 5:10am, a huge success with six kids in our eyes. We hope that the kids are able to fall back asleep for another hour maybe two but it's a gamble. This time we get only one to sleep a bit more, Cody is able to block out the noise of his siblings and to push aside the fact that he was just yanked from him warm bed and thrown into his car seat. The other five start slow and quickly erupt into a full morning, wide awake and excited for the trip. Obviously with a family of eight our options are limited on the kind of vehicle we all can fit in. Our suburban becomes our home away from home for the trip. We have enough room for eight including the three car seats. 
    About an hour down the road we get our first, "I'm hungry". We normally wake up between seven and eight in the morning during summer so breakfast at 6:00am doesn't sound like the right idea yet. I tell the kids to wait and on we go. Here comes my first mistake. I fall into the category of alpha male when I'm hungry and I'm not always pleasant. So when I get hungry twenty minutes later I stop for my favorite road trip breakfast, a McDonald's Mc-Muffin and we get Missy some coffee. Thinking the kids still need to wait before eating I hit the gas, head down the highway and with a mouth full of food I tell the kids you need to wait to eat. About 45 minutes later my decision of making the kids wait backfires with our six year old Dylan throwing up in the car. At least the seats are vinyl and he was still in his pj's. We pulled over on a two lane road right in front of someones gated drive way. After cleaning Dylan up our new parking spot became a restroom for four of the kids. Now I should have know this would happen with Dylan. He has always had a week stomach when it comes to long drives, especially when they are a little or a lot windy. After that we were back on our way. As we get closer and closer the road gets more and more windy. Along a steep windy stretch of road our two year old Evey unleashes a monster puke. It takes me a little to find a safe spot to pull over and once I do Dylan starts yelling I need to throw up. We got him out of the car just in time for him to paint the side of the street a new color. We do a quick clean and regroup and down he road we go. Dylan is now at a window seat by the door with a fresh clean trash bag in hand just in-case. By the time we get to the bottom floor of the Yosemite valley Dylan has thrown up an additional four times. He quickly became a pro at getting it all in the bag, something I was not only excited about but grateful for. 
    Our first stop was Bridalveil Falls. It's the first real pull off spot for sightseeing on the valley floor and it was a welcome location to get the kids out of the car to stretch their legs. This year was a late winter which led to a large run-off later in the year. The walk up to the falls proved to be exciting and difficult. Because the falls were so full the mist coming from the water hitting the rocks at the bottom created a sensation of rain. The walkway up to the waterfall was covered in moving water. At one point the water on the paved pathway was over the toes of my shoes. We carried little ones on one arm and held hand with the other to get to safe and comfortable spot to experience the fall. Yet because the mist was so thick you could barely see the top of the waterfall as it rolled over the edge. On our way back to the car we encountered our first gawker. This has become quite normal for us since we have six kids, nine and under. The woman, her husband and another couple take quick notice of all of us and start the counting of heads. Missy and I are well aware of what's about to come next. Our hope is that it goes positive, because it doesn't always seem too. The woman asks, "are these all your kids" with a high reflection of amazement. I have many canned answers for this question with my favorite being, "yep, if it feels go do it. Right?" Yet none of the rude or funny ones feel like they will fit, so I go with the truth and say they sure are. The two ladies now show extreme interest and one asks, "are any of them twins?" After we say nope the first woman calls her husband over to take video of us and the kids. She tells him quick get a shot of all these kids. Once we get to the car the lady starts asking the ages, they can't believe how close in age they are. One lady then goes over to the car to open the door while saying, "is it unlocked? I got to see how you have this set up in here for all of them." She opens the door and calls her friend over to check it out with her. The video continues to roll for a little bit longer while the ladies get a good look at the car and ask questions about what I do for work in order to support such a large family. The ladies engage the kids in some light conversation about having so many siblings which keeps the kids attention on the conversation. One of the ladies says she had two children both of whom God has taken from them. As a widow, I cringed at this comment. Since day one when my wife, Jen, passed away I never said anyone took her. I never explained that kind of view to the boys. Missy and I both felt the mood of the conversation change and we pressed for the kids to say good-bye and to load up. The two couples wished us luck and on we went. Once in the car Dylan asked why God took her kids away. We had an honest discussion about the words people use and how sometimes they don't really say what they mean. He hinted at the possibility of God taking his mommy away which resulted in a discussion about that. 
    Our entire day at Yosemite was met with people stopping and asking are they all yours or what are their ages. It's become a normal part of life for us. Amongst the many questions we had a great picnic lunch by the river filled with butterflies and birds, and cookies and giggles. We strolled along the river bank, we looked for climbers on El Capitan and enjoyed the wildlife. The day was perfect and the kids were fantastic. We talked about the force of the water rushing through the river and over the water falls. We explained how the cold temperature of the water was very dangerous if anyone was to fall in. We made it a learning situation in ever way possible so that the kids would respect nature and the forces it creates. IMG_2615
After Yosemite we drove to the town of Lee Vining for the night. The main interest in this little highway town is Mono Lake as well as it's a place most people go through to get to Bodie Ghost Town. The town had a creepy feel to it. It was interesting and had some nice scenery, mainly the view of the lake, but it just felt off. We walked to a local park before it got dark for the night so the kids could play. Both Missy and I felt like any of us could vanish at a moments notice and we would have been like, "yep that's about right." I noticed a lot of the trees had an ashy white color, which is caused by the large amount of salt in the soil and water. It's that same salt along with other minerals that cause the "rock formations" called Tufa's that are sticking out of the water in Mono Lake. 
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     The next day we drove to Bodie Ghost Town where we walked through the abandoned city. While exploring the town we were asked a few times, "are these all your kids?" It became apparent that the thought of six kids was just too much form most people to handle. We heard a few people say, "my two are more than enough for me, I don't know how you do it with six." The Ghost town was a hit with the kids though. 
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    Our last day we stopped by Columbia State park on our way to Calaveras Big Tree's. We walked through old main street, looked for gold and the kids made candles. It turned out to be a perfect stop just to get out and stroll a little before we strapped in the car for the next two or so hours. 
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     I will say to end the trip at Calaveras Big Tree's was perfect. I find a good interest in nature, not to say that I love to spend days and nights in it, I just find it fascinating. To see these huge gigantic trees that are thousands of years old that dwarf any living thing you might have ever seen is powerful. The kids did great too. We started in the south grove of the trees where we had a picnic lunch and walked down to the river and over the bridge. It was a short walk to that point and from the research we had done that was as far as we should go with our groups little legs. After that we drove to another spot and hiked for about 20 minutes. The path started as a beginner path but quickly turned into a more advanced hike. We went a bit further allowing the path and the difficulties to become a teaching tool of teamwork and listening. After that we went to the north grove and walked through the path they have laid out. Here the path is flat as it winds around the forest taking you right up to some of the giant sequoias. The size of the trees were absolutely amazing, stunning Missy and I along with the kids. It should be a must do for everyone that comes close to the area. 
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    The trip was a huge success. The kids as well as Missy and I had a blast. From the power point presentation to the last dirty sock being removed before loading up to drive home, it was well worth it. Interesting enough a few weeks after our trip I read an article that talked about three people who had lost their lives after being swept over the falls in Yosemite. We had the kids sit on the couch while I read to them the story of the three people. The article stated they had ignored the barriers and warning signs about the strong current as well as the people expressing their concerns about their actions. One after the other slipped and away they went. It was extremely sad to read and discuss, yet a perfect teaching tool to enforce our reasons for being strict with the kids when it came to the water in Yosemite. We know it's okay to have boundaries and rules when it comes to raising our children and most importantly it's okay to say NO to them. We have found it's honest and respectful to tell the kids no when we aren't comfortable with something they want, are doing or are wanting to be doing. 

My Favorite Part
    I have been told that I'm a freak when it comes to the things I enjoy doing. Laundry is one of those things. Yes it's true, laundry is something I truly enjoy. I find it to be a great time for personal thought. Whether it be day dreaming or day planing, I use the personal time as a way to connect to my inner voice. In addition my anal-ness drives a need inside of me to have things clean and in order. Thanks to "up-chuck Evey" and "barfing Dylan" I had plenty of things to wash the first night. Luckily there was a laundr-o-mat within walking distance. I found myself doing more than just the puked covered clothes. When it was all done I had done three loads of laundry the first night of the trip. In my defense I did the throw up clothes alone, then the darks finalized with the whites. I found so much joy in my new found mecca that I took a picture. I hope it brings you as much joy as it does me!
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