Butterflies

Trevor found this tonight as he was playing outside. Our family believes butterflies are Jen's special way of visiting us.

Changes

 For the past three years, I have worked for Down Syndrome Information Alliance (DSIA) and SCOE Infant Development Program. I actually founded DSIA with a few other families in 2004 and took some time off while I was with the Sheriff’s Department. And I have been with SCOE since 2003. Both jobs allow me to work mostly from home with an occasional meeting in and around Sacramento – usually during school hours. And although working from home has MANY privileges, it is also a huge struggle for me to stay focused. Either on the kids, the house or work. They all mingle together and then I feel like I am not doing any one of them very well. So, to make sure I get a few solid hours in, I usually wake up around 5 am, grab a quick workout or run, and then get to work before all the kiddos wake up. It seems to be working for us.

About a month ago a job position was posted for a Family Resource and Support Specialist for the WarmLine Family resource Center. WarmLine is a non-profit organization that provides resources and support to families and professionals that are involved with children with special needs. I have wanted to work more closely with their Executive Director, Kelly Young, who I greatly admire and know I can learn a lot from. So, I chatted it over with Andy, updated my resume and off I went. I had two interviews and was offered the position.

And then panic sunk in! Three days a week in an office???? This fall we have all six kiddos in school (although Cody and Evey go opposite days, so one of them are always home) - 6 kids in school - 3 different schools in Carmichael, Roseville and Granite Bay.  Plus, I have not worked outside the home since before I had Evey!

Thankfully, Andy is at home full time, so it makes it easier.  He is a fantastic Daddy and a great partner… he does laundry, dishes, cleans and cooks. And takes care of the kids flawlessly. Here’s a recent post on Facebook to prove it:

Yeah I'm having a beer at 1pm on a Thursday afternoon. It's ok to judge. Some might think it's because it's just me and the kids at home today with out Missy, maybe cause I did breakfast for everyone, or because I ran and emptied the dishwasher already, maybe cause I did 2 loads of laundry and they are put away now, maybe because I did a little work in the garage earlier, or perhaps because I cooked hot dogs on the grill which always elicits a beer, or maybe because we all had some fruit with our dogs to balance out the not so healthy lunch or maybe because we have colored and played "shop" twice already; ummm NOPE. You see that's all part of being a parent. You don't need FB with it's 20 comments to tell you way to go, you just need to gauge your work by that of your child. Are they the person you want them to be? Are they acting the way you want them to? Are you teaching them the best you can? 

So why the beer? Because I can. Cheers :) — with Heather Green. 

With Andy home, the house still runs smooth, the children are at home with a parent, and all would seem good.  Everyone seems to be adjusting well to this new change, except me.  Well, the kids and me. Ok, Andy, the kids and Me. Cody runs after me every morning as I am walking out the door because he doesn’t want me to leave – and then tells Andy he doesn’t want me to leave because he’s afraid I won’t come back like his Mommy. So, Andy is left at home to deal with that with no physical support from me and I am left driving to work wondering how everyone is. Evey tells me, “I don’t want you do go Mommy it’ll take too long for you to get back home,” Dylan has cried because there are mornings that I am gone before he wakes up. Trevor gives me the silent treatment – which is how he deals with things (man, can I relate to that kid!). Lucy has expressed her dislike of me working all day plenty of times and Gabby says “I miss you, but can you print me more word searches before you go?” I love her straightforwardness.  The work that I am doing with WarmLine, DSIA and SCOE is important, rewarding and inspiring. The kids and Andy are enjoying the last week and a half before school starts. And we even managed to plan a kid free weekend. I love my children more than I love the Dodgers, Peanut Butter with Chocolate, and Peppermint mochas…. But I am definitely looking forward to some down time with the person that takes care of me, loves me and supports me the most.  After spending the last two years side by side, it has been a big adjustment with me out of the home so much.  

I know I am having huge issues with being away from home so much. That, coupled with the fact that the kids go back to school so soon has me overwhelmed. I am left wondering where did summer go? What about all the crafty, fun things I pinned on Pinterest that I wanted to do? I have to keep reminding myself that just because school starts does not mean that our lives are over. Even though I may feel like it. J

I am off to enjoy a wonderful weekend with the love of my life. He sent me an evite to each activity he planned for us… a walk, movie, coffee and bookstore, miniature golf, dinner at “our restaurant” and breakfast in bed. I love him.

Follow the links to learn more about Down Syndrome Information Alliance and WarmLine Family Resource Center.

127 hours

“You know, I've been thinking, everything is...just comes together. It's me. I chose this. I chose all of this. This rock...this rock has been waiting for me my entire life. It's entire life. Ever since it was a bit of meteorite a million, billion years ago. There in space. It's been waiting, to come here. Right, right here. I've been moving towards it my whole life. The minute I was born, every breath I've taken, every action has been leading me to this crack on the out surface.” Aron Ralston

127 Hours Movie Trailer

As Andy and I watched the movie, 127 Hours, about the hiker, Aron Ralston, who got his arm trapped and had to cut it off to escape, this line really stayed with me.  Andy and I believe our love is so great because we choose it. Everything in our past has lead us to this point and we choose to be together. We choose to love each other. There is nothing that binds us expect our desire to love each other. To show each other love, every minute of every day.

I’ve made mistakes in my past - big ones and small ones.

I’ve suffered unimaginable hurt by people who claimed to love me.

I’ve suffered from a grief so overwhelming, I have tried to will myself to stop breathing as I held my dad as he died from cancer.  

And, I have done monumental things…I gave birth to three amazing little human beings. I’ve slept nose to nose and held them close as I breathed them in. I gave them life.

I’ve accomplished many successful things in my professional life and met many life long goals.

And now I love beyond measure. In ways I have never known.

And I am, in return, loved beyond measure; in ways I have never known.

Andy is the one I choose. And it is hard to love in the midst of chaos and craziness. To not let others influence, affect or hurt our relationship. I choose him to love. It’s so powerful to know that. And to know that he chooses to love me back. We followed a lifetime of decisions that brought us to a place of undeniable love.

I stopped writing this a many months ago… it brought about so many emotions for me... Guilt, anger, sadness, hatred, hurt. 

After many, many months of reading books, counseling, connecting with family and writing letters, I am finally feeling a sense of peace and confidence. Peace that those who hurt me did so because they have problems, not because I do. Confidence that I can overcome and be the mother, sister, aunt, daughter, partner and friend I want to be. I will continue to move forward daily, changing moment by moment, honoring myself, admitting when I am wrong, asking for forgiveness and giving forgiveness. I will not let the past ruin my future. I will learn from it and move on.  I will even be grateful for it, because it has brought me here. I deserve all life has to give me, to be happy and loved. 




Here are some really wonderful and insightful books that we recommend: 

Exciting and Promising News for Gabby Girl!

I wanted to share with you a powerful appointment that we had for Gabby on Thursday.

For a little bit of history… Gabby was diagnosed with Apraxia when she was much younger. She also has Celiac Disease – an allergy to gluten. 

Gabby’s speech seems to be coming more and more less clear. I have a hard time understating what she says sometimes, when I used to be the one person that understood everything she said.  Once we got her hearing issues sorted out (she gets yeast infections in her ears that causes blockage and a conductive hearing loss) I knew there was something more to her unclear speech.

Renee Roy Hill is a speech and language pathologist with 11 years of professional experience and is the owner of Crossroads Therapy Clinic in Texas. She provides therapeutic assessments and program planning for adults and children with oral-motor/oral-placement, feeding and motor speech deficits. Renee is a lecturer for professional enhancement courses as part of TalkTools Therapy® / ITI’s speakers bureau, is the author of the TalkTools Therapy® Apraxia Kit and is co-author of the Ice Sticks Program. She presents one and two-day courses on Oral-Placement Therapy techniques, Apraxia and Assessment and Program Plan Development.  She also conducts off-site evaluations and provides parent/home interventionist training seminars to implement home-based therapy programs.

She was in town this week to lecture for SASHA on Friday. DSIA paid her hotel to come early two extra days, allowing families to make appointments with her for evaluations or program follow up appointments (If they had previous evaluations by her or Sarah Rosenfeld Johnson). Our family decided to make an appointment with her. 

Renee evaluated her and found out so many things about Gabby that we never could “pinpoint” or figure out and I would like to share.

Gabby is super hypo sensitive. Renee was able to put a toothette very far down the back of her throat without Gabby gagging. Gabby has a left weak cheek and strong right cheek. And a strong left jaw and weak right jaw.

Renee observed Gabby eating. She chews with her mouth closed, but only because we have told her to. She actually does not have enough strength to chew properly with her mouth closed. When eating, Gabby moves her mouth up and down, but her food stays in the center of her mouth and never gets chewed. Then Gabby requires a big gulp to get the food down – because she has such weak muscles. So, Gabby is swallowing big gulps of air and whole pieces of food. No wonder her tummy hurts all the time!

Gabby has big mouth movements and small mouth movements… but nothing in between. And these are the movements you need for good, refined speech.

I always assumed Gabby’s aversion to certain foods is because it is typically gluten based food she avoids – crackers, cereals, cookies, chips, cakes, etc.… Renee assured me that Gabby avoids those foods because she knows she can’t chew them and she can’t swallow them. She knows she would choke. Because she has such weak muscles and is so hypo sensitive, not only would she choke, but also she doesn’t have the gag reflux to get food back up.

Gabby then read a book to Renee. Renee closed the book, looked at me and said Gabby does NOT have apraxia.  Most of you know I could care less about diagnoses/labels, just tell me what I need to do to help her.

Renee did an amazing job of explaining how severe Gabby’s muscle weakness is, yet, reassuring us that there is no reason that Gabby cannot have clear speech.  Gabby is super smart and has found many ways to overcompensate for her weakness.

Gabby’s ST from school was there for the appointment as well. While observing the assessment she stated, “Well, at some point, Gabby will only reach a certain level, right?”

Renee reassured us that NO ONE levels out…. Keep strengthening your muscles… You don’t stop going to the gym once you’ve reached your ideal weight.

I am really pleased with her treatment plan. 15 minutes a day, seven days a week of exercises for her mouth, jaw, etc.…. and one feeding exercise… 6 bites reminding Gabby to chew with back teeth. After that, Gabby is done with “therapy” Let her eat at mealtimes the way she wants to – eating needs to be enjoyable and in time, the correct eating with transfer over to mealtimes.

When I got home, I thanked Andy for the sacrifice (financially) our family made for this appointment and he said something to me I will never forget. He said “We did not do this just for Gabby. We did this for our whole family. Gabby deserves to be heard and we deserve to hear her”  Many of the reasons I love him so. 

I am excited about these changes. I am excited to hear all Gabby has to say. I am excited to have a conversation with her on the phone and not have to ask what she said. I am excited to see her blossom into the next stage of her life, as she is able to more openly communicate with her family and friends.

Down the Rabbit Hole

Andy and I just watched the movie Rabbit Hole yesterday.  But let’s back up to this past week.

Andy’s sister in law passed away on January 10^th after a brave fight with breast cancer. She left behind a devoted husband and two small girls. Obviously this is very close to us and brings up many many memories and feelings for the boys. Many a night I have tucked Cody into bed and as I stroke his hair, he tells me “ I want my mommy to come back but she can’t. I miss my mommy.” And all I can say  is “I know Buddy, I wish your mommy could come back. I am so sorry. I want my Daddy to come back too and he can’t”

The three-year anniversary of my father passing away was January 18^th. I found myself reliving everything leading up to that day - the smell of his bedroom, the feel of his hand in mine as he stopped breathing and the ache in my heart when he was gone.

So, what do we decided to do on a cold, dark, rainy afternoon? Watch a movie about a couple that loses their 4-year-old son, and in turn, almost lose each other.

In typical fashion, we dissected every part of the movie and talk in depth about how easily that situation could tear a marriage apart.  We talked about guilt and blame.

This is a stinging point for me. Every time I reflect on my life…. My joys and blessings and focus on what I am grateful for – my New Year’s resolution is journal writing and I try to start off with three things I am grateful for – I feel the sting of reality. I would have none of this if someone else hadn’t died.

And I feel that is how some people perceive me, like I was waiting on the sidelines for Jen to pass away so I could sweep in and have her great life.

Sometimes it’s hard to be happy and feel gratitude when you feel guilt.

It was at this point in our conversation when I heard Cody’s puffs of breaths as he was laying in the hallway behind our couch. It is his way of telling us he is awake, but doesn’t want to get in trouble for getting up.

We called him up into out laps and snuggled with him. Andy asked if he had any dreams and he said yes. “Oh really, what did you dream about?” Andy asked. “Mommy” Cody sweetly replied. “What were you and mommy doing?” Andy asked him. And Cody said “Watching Cars 1”

I hugged him and I couldn’t stop myself. I found myself sobbing. He wasn’t scared. He just kept hugging me back. I caught Andy’s eye for a second too and he was crying. I couldn’t stop… It lasted for a good 2-3 minutes. Just tears. Then Cody gave me a sweet kiss and went into the playroom to play with Dylan and Trevor.

I told Andy “I hope that when the boys grow up, they know that I would have done anything to give them their mommy back. But there is nothing I can do, so I just love them”

Andy and I talk a lot about people’s perception. It is my strong belief that in general society seems to be more tolerant of a married spouse falling in love with someone else and having an affair, than a widow/er grieving and finding love again.

As if now that Andy and I are together, we don’t talk about Jen. But that’s the farthest from the truth. I ask questions about her and listen to stories of their dating, engagement and wedding. I listen to childbirth and vacation stories.  We talk about their relationship in terms of marriage and parenting. 

And we look at pictures, and videos. I just found a great picture of Jen and the boys I have always liked and put it up on the fridge for all to see. When we had Jen’s birthday celebration at the house, I stayed in bed with Cody and watched the slideshow of Jens pictures from her memorial. I think we watched it three times. And I laminated pictures of Jen, Andy and the boys to hang on the boy’s backpacks.  The same backpack that every time we pick up Trevor from school Cody grabs and says, “Trev, I please look at my mommy’s picture”

The reasons behind this are many fold. The first one is that everything in Andy’s past made him the man I love. And that includes Jen. She helped create the partner and father I love and respect. The second one is that I made a promise to do anything to make sure the boys know everything they can about Jen. That we never let her memory die and that she is an important person in our family.

Does any of that make it any easier…. Honestly, no. It still stings when the boys cry “I miss Mommy” and he responds with “I know, me too.” And my mind races…. What does he miss? What am I not providing? What am I not doing? Am I enough? Will I ever be? Do you know what it is like to constantly compare your self to a dead person? I do, and I always fall short. 

I do know, though, at the end of the day. When I tuck three little boys into bed and I get hugs, kisses and “I love you’s” that it IS enough - in that moment. And when Andy tells me he loves me, and he’s so glad I am in their lives, that it is enough. For that moment, it is enough.  And we have realized one important thing - to find Joy and Love in the moment, because that is all we have - those moments. 

Rabbit Hole Trailer

Whew!

Whew, what a busy month. 

December is an especially busy month for us, with 4 out of 8 birthdays in our immediate family, along with four different houses to go to for Christmas, as well as our own festivities.

Our holiday season started with a wonderful Thanksgiving at Andy’s sister and brother in law’s house. It was lovely and delicious!!! And then we went to Andy’s in laws to celebrate thanksgiving there! Needless to say we ate a lot of food.

The following Thursday we kept all the kids home from school and took a trip to Apple Hill to cut down our tree. Last year there was snow up to our knees. This year it was perfectly dry, although a bit windy. It took us about 20 minutes to find our perfect tree, then about another 60 to cut it down. Afterwards we enjoyed hot chocolate and cookies while Andy tied the tree to our vehicle.

Getting ready to find the perfect tree

Andy at the top of our perfect tree. Notice the smile! 

Hmm, where did his smile go?

The prefect tree is very tall apparently. This was the top of a 30 foot tree.

Mmmm..Andy swears this place has the best hot chocolate.

Trevor collected a few pine cones.

Our tree, up and decorated.

Getting the tree meant getting the Christmas decorations out of the attic, which somehow lead to a day of cleaning out the attic. Cleaning to the point that our neighbors where asking us if we were moving. We created a tote for each child so that we would have a place to put his or her special items that we want to keep forever. Needless to say, there was lots of cleaning, organizing and a flood of emotions as we opened boxes and shared stories. When it was all said and done, we had a huge tote box full of Jen’s items. From the dress she wore to prom with Andy, to the robe she wore in the hospital with all the boys, letters, cards, jewelry and pictures. All in one box. It made me very sad to think that all the boys have of their mom is in one box. And the 17 years that she had with Andy, all in one box. I broke down and just cried. Of course I know that through stories and memories and all we teach the boys about Jen, they have SO MUCH MORE than what’s in that box. Or, at least that is my hope. 

December 1^st also started the Elf on the Shelf for us. The Elf visits the children each morning, to watch over them all day and then report back to Santa at night. Of course, when he magically appears each morning, it’s an adventure for the children to find him. This created some angst for me, as every night I wanted Elfie’s hiding spot to be “better” than the last. Sometimes Elfie hung out with other toys and got into some fun, sometimes he was sneaky where he hid and sometimes he helped get the children something they had hinted at the night before (like hot chocolate).  And there were many nights as I crawled into bed; I would sit up with a panic “OH NO! I need to go do the Elf on the Shelf!!!”

Scoring points by bringing a little treat. 

Playing Hot Wheels with a Reindeer

Reading some Christmas books

Once our house was all decorated, and we started to have visitors, there seemed to be a common comment “Jeez, that’s a lot of stockings”

Yes, yes it is. And everyone one of them represents someone in our family. Someone I love beyond measure. People I would give my life for. So, when people walk into our family room and make an off comment about how many stockings we have hanging on our mantle, it’s a bit disheartening, discouraging and hurtful.


I get it, it IS a lot. Six kids, Jen, Andy, Myself and even Toby and Zack… the baby dogs. This year Dylan even made a stocking for Elfie, our Elf on a Shelf. So there is a lot. But that is my family. It is funny that a few weeks ago a friend of a friend was over  - she barely knows us and she smiled big seeing our stockings and said, “Now this is what Christmas is all about.” I agree.

The thing about it is, Andy and I made a choice for this to be our family. We had long talks, as our feelings were growing stronger, about merging our families together. We talked about the dynamics, how would it work, how would the kids handle it. And yes, we even bothered to talk about how others would feel about it. How many families do that when considering having another child? Do they wonder what their friends will say?  It’s not like Andy and I accidently had six kids. It was a choice, well beyond us falling in love, to bring our families together to raise them as one. 

December brought many birthdays, starting with mine. 

I love birthdays. And I love ice cream cake. 

The day after my birthday, is Dylan's. Cake to Celebrate! 

We did an early Christmas at Andy’s parents house, along with Jen, Bry, Sam, Sophia and Oma and Pa. We decorated gingerbread houses and ate lotsof yummy food! We introduced them to the tradition of HI/LOW. Hi/Low is when you go around the table and tell everyone what your HI is for the day and what your LOW was for the day.  This is always enlightening to say the least. It was a great night of visiting with family, eating and drinking and just being together.

Decorating Gingerbread houses! 

Decorating Gingerbread houses! 

Decorating Gingerbread houses! 

Famliy

Love! 

Then we celebrated Dylan and Lucy’s birthday together. Dylan turned 7 and Lucy turned 8.  It was a great day of family and friends.  It also left me wondering lots of things. As Andy and I hunkered down in our bathroom, where most of our talks happened. I expressed my frustration at my self, wondering and hoping that I provide for my girls at the same level that the boys are provided for. We didn’t buy the girls advent calendars like the boys have. I didn’t but them special Christmas tees or Christmas pajamas. And yet the boys have these items because of extended family. And I know it doesn’t matter; yet in a house where we raise our six children with the belief that we are one family, and there is no difference amongst us, I continuously wonder what message I am sending them. What do they feel? What do they think? Which in turns leads to all 8 of us, huddled in our bathroom floor to have this very same conversation.  After many tears, I think we were good to go and headed out to look at Christmas lights…. Which is my most favorite thing to do at Christmas time.

Singing Happy Birthday to Lucy and Dylan

Cody liked the cupcakes :)

We also started a new tradition of decorating cookies with cousins Sam, Sophia and Austin. It was GREAT fun, lots of frosting and sprinkles and wine. It’s a great memory I have from childhood and one I am looking forward to creating with my family.

Lots of kids, lots of cookies! 

Someone likes sprinkles!

Christmas Eve was magical. It was the first time all 8 of us were together, as last year; Gabby and Lucy were at their Dads. Lucy and Dylan LOVED tracking Santa on the computer.

Santa Stalking

We started off the Day at Andy’s parents house with lunch, and then assembling the luminaries that line the streets of their neighborhood. Its fun – the kids get to ride in the back of Papa’s truck to go get the sand around the corner at the park and we all work together to fill bags and line their property.

Shoveling sand into the truck.

Headed back to Grandma Betty's and Papa's to make the luminaries.

The streets lined and the Fire Department drove by with Santa.

SANTA! HAPPY KIDS!! 

We then headed off to have Christmas Eve with family friends of mine, the Anicich Family, I have known them for almost 35 years. The grown ups do a white elephant gift exchange and we ended up with a Scooby Doo Chia Pet. FOR REAL.  Then we headed back to Andy’s folks house for hot chocolate and to see the neighborhood all lite up by the luminaries. It is quickly becoming another favorite thing of mine for the holidays.

Christmas day was BUSY! Lots of presents, time at Andy’s in laws and then his Aunt and Uncles house. All in all, a great day.

Stockings! 

Daddy and Evey 

Daddy and Cody 

Daddy and his Ron Paul Stage built from Legos

Trust me, there is a small child under those presents!

Dylan handing out presents.

Can you say TIRED? 

One of the best things about going to all these places was the constant compliments that Andy and I got on our children.  I have to admit, I have never been more proud. Our children were grateful, pleasant and respectful. I have six amazing kiddos

At home, tucked into our bed for some cuddle time. 

And then, two days after Chirstmas we celebrate Cody's 4th Birthday. He was SO excited to finally have HIS BIRTHDAY! He has such a sweet soul. I wish I could put into words what this child does to my heart. He loves his mom so much. He knows his mom is in heaven and he's not afraid to say it. 

On his birthday, he carried around this picutre.

He will often ask if he can go to heaven to be with his mommy. I think I would do just about anything if somehow I could bring Jen back to him. 

We celebrated the night with family, and of course cupcakes! Happy 4th Birthday Cody! I LOVE YOU! 

BUZZ CUPCAKES

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CODY!

From our family to yours, we wish you a joyful New Year! 

Coffee Cup Friday

As the weather changes and the cool air gets colder, I am amazed at how many people I see toting around a coffee cup. I completely get the disposable cup being carried from place to place; although the thought of nearly 200-billion cups that are thrown away annually is enough to choke a horse, or even 200 billion for that matter. However, I don't get the trend of carting around your alma-mater’s coffee cup or the lead weight also known as a coffee cup given to you last Christmas from a coworker. In my mind that kind of cup is for sitting next to a warm cozy fire while it snows outside as you sip on your smooth peppermint coffee from Dunkin' Donuts.

I went with Dunkin' Donuts because I'm not a coffee drinker. I never have been. I don't get the feeling that coffee drinkers get when they close their eyes, roll them in the back of their head, slowly tilt the cup back and burn their lips right off as they indulge in what they might call, life's greatest gift. I could spout the unhealthy nature of it, or the waist of time it could be when other things need to get done or the complete pissing away of money for flavored water that it could be viewed as; but that is not why I don't drink it. I just plain don't like it. I drink water in the morning. Cause I like the taste of it. 

Even though I don't like coffee, it doesn't mean I don't understand the nostalgia behind it for most people. A moment each day where it reminds them of good times with a loved one who has since passed, the bond it brings to those in the morning, the angle it creates to make that first move with someone you are interested in, the joy it brings when given as a gift. I understand that, I even understand how it is the only thing that clears your mind and gets you ready to walk back inside those four walls of hell, a place commonly referred to as work. But what I don't understand is why it is sometimes carried in fine china while a person walks their child to school, or why it is in a mug the size of a smart car as its owner drives down the road drinking from it. 

Lately I have been in complete shock at how many people carry their coffee cups while dropping off their children at school. I'm not talking travel cup either, and yes I do know the difference. Missy is a coffee drinker and when she leaves the house she will take it in one of our three travel mugs. However the parents that I have seen lately are carrying cups that I would find in my grandmother's kitchen cabinet or possibly the laundry room cabinet if your grandmother is forgetting which room she is in.

Today as Dylan and I sat outside the school in the car waiting for just the right moment to head into class, I saw a woman drive up in her SUV. She stopped at the curb and motioned for her kids to hop out. As the kids walked away one turned to waive good-bye. Unfortunately the child never saw mom waive back. She was closed eyed with both hands on her red ceramic style mug as she slowly tilted it towards her mouth. She took a sip and as she lowered the cup slowly she looked as if she was about to have an orgasm. She smiled and her shoulders lowered as she exhaled all while her eyes remained closed. She had gone to a place that many people go each day, and she had done it in her car with her house cup. She then hit the gas and pulled out in front of another car. It wasn't close enough to cause a wreck but she could have been polite and waited. After that Dylan and I got out of the car and headed to class. We walked up the black-top and along the way I saw a man with a cup. He was carrying a normal, white, porcelain coffee cup as he and his son walked the black-top with the rest of the school children. One hand was grasping his son's, while the other hand was gripped firmly around the handle of his house cup. He stuck his head forward while he maneuvered the cup up to his mouth for a drink as they continued to walk. Normally there is another dad with his youngest child in a baby carrier strapped to his chest that walks around with his house cup. His older child wonders about while he sips hot coffee while trying not to spill it on the baby’s head. He's the kind of guy who holds the door with one hand and drinks with the other causing you to limbo around him so as not to bump his drinking arm, but we didn’t see him today. As I walked back to the car I noticed another woman, coffee cup in hand as she pulled up to drop her son off at the curb. A passerby waived at her and she fluttered her last three fingers on the hand holding the cup to signal some sort of an acknowledgement to her friend. There's a three way intersection that I needed to cross to get to my car, and she was parked in the crosswalk where I would normally walk. Her son closed the door and turned to run to class as I came to the crosswalk. She was now sipping out of her cup as she pulled into the middle of the intersection. To the left of her there was a car waiting to turn in the same direction she was going from the side street. She slowed down and motioned to the other car, so as to get them to drive on past her. The car turned and went around her SUV. She then proceeded to make a u-turn in the intersection all while sipping from her cup. I stood on the sidewalk waiting for the circus show to drive back past me before venturing out into the street. I even saw a woman driving down the road with her house coffee cup as we went to pick up Trevor from school today at 11:40 am. Obviously she had a much longer night and therefore was slowly joining the rest of the population who had already climaxed while driving their car drinking from their house coffee cup. I am in awe of the item commonly known as a coffee cup and how it no longer is sentenced to a life at home. I was unaware of its everyday use outside the house and the joy it continually brings people.

I think I'm going to go buy myself a coffee cup tonight. I'm envisioning one of the old styles where the base of the cup is about three times as big as the opening. I might even get a non slip pad and glue it down on my dash so I can keep it up there as I drive all the kids back and forth from school.